Sunday, August 19, 2012

Today sucks.

Tonight I found out H's birthdad's girlfriend is pregnant. The same girl he was seeing while he was seeing me. Then my mom took me to see The Odd Life of Timothy Green. A story about adoption. Today sucks.

Friday, August 17, 2012

9 MONTHS OLD!!!

I finally sent the email. It's been 9 months! How crazy?? I don't think I'll ever picture H as anything but a baby! I haven't received the 9 month mail update yet (they aren't too great about sending it to get to me on time...) but I just know she's going to look so big! I try and look back to how my niece was when she was 9 months. I can't picture H that way! That's my baby, not my almost toddler. 

So, here's the email I sent. I tweaked a couple things and added what felt right. I believe this email describes what I feel. I'm a little nervous to get a reply... I'm not good with rejection. Well, here you go!

 "Hi guys! Happy 9 months to ALL of you! What a beautiful family :) I've loved so much seeing H grow and thrive in your family! She is so well adjusted and it's abundantly clear how much she is loved by you guys. Getting the pictures and letters through email and the mail has been so reaffirming to me that I made a good decision to place her with you guys. You truly are great parents to H!

I loved our visit in April so much and it brought me so much joy and clarity on my decision. It was so apparent that you guys were her mom and dad, that was a realization that I needed then in order to really have some peace with my decision. Thank you for giving me that opportunity! It's hard to think that there is only one more agreed upon visit between us. It would be amazing to know her, to watch her grow, and to be involved in a more tangible way than just pictures and letters. How would you guys feel about the possibility of having more visits? I know this is something that is outside of our communication agreement and that it is something that needs to be mutually agreed upon and always in the best interest of H, but I thought I would mention my interest and see where you guys stood on the subject. Please, take your time, think, and pray on it. I've had this email saved in my drafts for a while, praying hard over it. I truly feel we've been given something special.


Thank you for everything you do. You're such an amazing family."