Just a little update

I know I haven't posted in almost a month. College has started and this being my freshman year everything is so new and super busy! The first weekend it was nonstop. They had us up early and running around everywhere. Very stressful, and very exhausting! I'm almost done with my 2nd week of classes, so things are starting to feel more normal. I've got a routine down now, so I should be able to post more than I have been.

So, I should probably catch you up on things. I sort of left you with a cliff hanger...

I sent that email (the one I posted 2 posts ago) and I haven't received any form of communication back yet. Not even a simple, H is doing great! So glad to hear from you. We will give this a lot of prayer and time. Blah, blah, blah... Not a single word. Which of course scares the crap out of me. I always second guess myself, and I'm so terrified of rejection. My PC will be looking into this sometime soon hopefully. Although I wish she would have looked into it sooner.

Also, H is officially 9 months old going on 10 (wow that's crazy to say!). B&E also didn't send the 9 month update on time. Not like they sent any of the others on their exact date either.... But finally after the agency contacted them for it, they sent it via email. I then received it via email as well from the agency. They sent many pictures and a beautiful letter. E is such a great writer. H says "dada" and E says it's the cutest thing! They also said H loves cinnamon rolls and crescent rolls. It's a little ironic because I CRAVED cinnamon rolls and pretty much any type of bread! They also said that she growls on command! :) how cute?!?! When I was younger I used to pretend I was a dog. I'd bark and growl and sometimes lick and bite people. H also looks so much more like me. She is absolutely gorgeous; perfect skin, perfect hair (tons!), and perfect smile. (reading through that it makes me seem really conceited, haha, but I swear I'm not! She just looks a lot more like me than her birthdad.)

It's been tough, going through the motions of school and no longer being around the people who know what my story is and know about H. Part of me just wants to spill the big secret because it is such a heavy burden on my shoulders when I run into the people I used to know. Just hold on until next March, I tell myself. After that her birthdad can't do anything to her. I probably won't tell the public for many years to come... but man is this burden hard to carry.

Well, thank you so much for all your prayers and all your kindness. I keep reminding myself that God does turn ashes into beauty, and being able to read all of your stories and speak of mine anonymously, really, really helps. It shines a light that could only be shown through God's love. I really am grateful to have readers like you. Thank you!