I'm a Pinterest-aholic! I love looking at all the different boards and everyone's creativity! I often end up jealous that everyone is so much more proactive and creative, haha!
Today, I was looking on the tattoo boards. Since I've gave birth to H I have come up with some ideas for a tattoo. I know I want to get one in honor of H. First I thought of her birth date on my left wrist. Then I thought of the Egyptian symbol for life, an ankh, with H's birth date in roman numerals on my left rib cage (close to my heart). Well, I think I've finally found the one I truly want!
I think I've told you that I gave birth via c-section. Obviously I have a scar down there. I came across a quote that says, "Our scars remind us that the past is real." It totally sums up everything I felt after the adoption was final.
On finalization day I came up from the hospital feeling so empty. I was in pain from the c-section and in pain from leaving H with B and E. Leaving the hospital without a baby was so embarrassing. The nurses wheeled me out and my family helped me in the car. I was sobbing, which I know made the nurses uncomfortable. Usually this is a happy thing for them. They send well wishes to the new family, but with me they had no words. I remember getting back to the house and thinking, "Did that just happen?" It all seemed like a dream. I no longer had a pregnant belly, there wasn't a baby kicking or hiccuping inside me. It was like the past year had never happened. If it weren't for the pain of the c-section I don't think I would have grasped reality.
This quote means a lot to me now. Because of my c-section scar I can always remember that H is real and that our time together was real. So, I've decided to get the quote tattooed either above or below my c-section scar. It's something that won't be shared with the whole world, but will be between me and H. How lucky I am to be her first mother.
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