Just To See You Smile

I've realized that I have not followed through with my promise to share ALL things that are happening post placement. I tend to linger on the sad or confused parts. Partially because that's where I'm at, but everyday is not like that.

For example; yesterday was my brother's birthday, but we didn't celebrate with him till today. Many times today I smiled, even laughed! My sister and I picked out his birthday card this afternoon. One by one we giggled in the card aisle. After each card one of us said, "Okay, we have to go." but then we'd find another card that would make us laugh and recall memories. We settled on a card that was meant for a little girl. It read, "Hey little lady" on the outside; inside it said something about being a beautiful little girl. :) I wrote a little note inside still playing on the joke. I said how I thought he had grown up to be a special young woman and how I loved him. Below I wrote a real note. I told him happy birthday and that I love him very much. Then we all sang "Happy Birthday" in really obnoxious voices and very off key. :)

I just love watch people's faces when they read cards that I give them. And watching his face was priceless. He laughed at every line and it was great to see a smile on someone's face and know that it was me who put it there.

I find joy in making other people smile. One of my favorite things is to give others compliments. I don't have the most glamorous job; it's not glamorous at all! I work in a factory that gives me flexible hours which will be wondrous when school starts in the fall. I work with a variety of people, as you can imagine. College students, drug addicts, single parents, alcoholics, Christians, smokers, partiers, etc. I don't know many people there and rarely speak to them, unless I am approached. But twice this past week I've put a smile on someone's face. One lady was being bullied by some of the younger college kids. Long story short, she thinks she might be pregnant and someone took it upon themselves to start a rumor that she was lying about it and would come in to work saying she had a miscarriage. Why? Who really knows.. (dumb college kids). But I just told her what my mom has been telling me throughout this whole experience. You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. In return she said, "I knew I liked you. You must be religious." She smiled and then walked away. The second time was with an older gentleman who had helped me when I first started. We passed each other and I asked him a simple question, "Did you get your hair cut?" and he replied with a yes. I proceeded to tell him that I liked it and the biggest smile came across his face. Something so simple, yet so powerful. His smile made me forget what I have been going through. I felt happiness, because he radiated it!

So, you see my life isn't a big blur of sorrow or confusion or regret. Time to time I have glimpses of happiness that I receive from other people. Glimpses of hope that one day I can be truly happy. I hope that day comes soon, because I'm already fed up with crying. :)