My 1st Mother's Day

For weeks I've been terrified for Mother's Day. Will I be okay? How will I handle the church sermon? Will anyone acknowledge me as a mother? The questions and worries just kept coming..

March 12th is Birth Mother's Day, which I have known about for a while now. But I didn't think anyone else knew about it. To my surprise my sister knew all about Birth Mother's Day (she does her research). I received an e-card from her this past week. It was a Birth Mother card. I watched it and cried. The tears weren't because I had given birth and chose someone else to parent my child and now I was empty handed; it was because someone remembered me..

Mother's Day weekend my sister came in town with my niece. My family was involved with a children's choir so we had performances all weekend. I just expected for everyone to focus on the children's choir and the stress surrounding that. To my surprised my mom and sisters planned a Birth Mother's Day dinner for me! They took me to my favorite restaurant and gave me cards and gifts. I also received a beautiful card from my grandparents (which was definitely unexpected). My sister got me a Willow Tree. I now have 2! My first one was from my mom. It's called "Remembrance". She bought me and H the same one and gave them to us at the hospital. The one I just got from my sister is called "Healing", which is very appropriate. I also received a gift from my best friend in the mail! She sent a card and a wall decoration; I'm very into interior design.

I never thought I'd receive so much love and support on a holiday not many people know about! Thanks to my sister I was comforted on what could have been one of the hardest days for me. Even Mother's Day was okay! I was so excited to give my mom and my sister their Mother's Day gifts I wasn't focused on myself. We had a lovely day today. My mom, of course, checking in on me asking me how I was doing and if I needed to talk. They were all so great!

To make today a little better than 'okay', I got an email from E! She wished me a happy Mother's Day.. how beautiful! I'm so overjoyed that we can have that kind of relationship and that she wants me in H's life. She told me that they had been praying for me today.. Me?! Not only did MY family remember me, but my daughter's family also remembered me! How blessed am I?!

I'm truly humbled and grateful. Instead of going to sleep crying tonight like I had thought I would weeks ago, I'll be smiling..

Happy 1st Mother's Day to me :)

ps: and Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers who read this! xoxo