Play The Game

You guys know my back story now. I don't have the best track record with guys. There has been tons of games that guys have played with me in the past..well I wasn't exactly aware of the games until they were over and I was the loser. 

Now there's this guy. He's nice, funny, sweet, caring, blah blah blah. I'm comfortable when I'm around him and He seems to like me. It's so hard to tell when I haven't really interacted with a guy in over a year. Sometimes he's up and down. One day he'll talk to me like I'm the only person there, the next he's not even smiling at me when we pass. Is he playing some kind of game?

I will never understand this "game" business. Why can't two people who are attracted to each other, not just physically, but emotionally connect and get to know each other for who they are? There doesn't have to be a game. I shouldn't have to second guess myself on my feelings or try to make myself more appealing. I know that the right guy will like me for who I am. But I have a hard time not thinking this is my fault.. 

How can someone like me when I can't be completely honest with them? I will never be able to share about H with just anyone. I will have to completely trust them, and I don't do that easily. So, is he wishy washy because he feels that I'm not being open? Or is he just a craphead? 

This dating thing is hard... and I don't feel like it has to be. And maybe I'm making it all up in my head that he even likes me. Ugh! How do I jump back into to the dating scene when I don't even know how to handle all these games? Where are the gentlemen? The ones I can take home to mama? The woes of a girl..